Coupled With D&S

Real, nonjudgmental advice about dating, sex, love, and life from a thirty-something couple that has seen it all over thirteen years.

Trust us. We live in Brooklyn. (Joking. Kind of.)

Tag: bisexual

To Disclose or Not to Disclose? Genital Herpes and the Dating Profile

“I disclose my HSV2 (genital herpes) status in my dating profile. I was getting many messages before putting the HSV2 on there, and I’m still getting many messages, only now at least I have a sense of freedom and honesty. I hope it will help me filter the boys from the men, though I’m not entirely sure it’s helping. Do you think it is wise to be as honest as I am?”

Friend Without Benefits (FWOB): A Married Woman and the Lover She Hasn’t Quite Taken Yet

A married woman in an open relationship struggles with how to handle the most important man in her life who isn’t her husband: he’s her coworker, best friend, and her husband’s friend. They started hanging out and making out two years before when he was in an abusive relationship, but they never had sex at his insistence. Even though he has since broken up with his girlfriend, they make out but haven’t had sex. They’ve both declared their love for each other, but it causes her pain when he makes out with her but refuses to consummate the relationship. Even worse, he blames her for the situation when he pulls away, only to resume flirting and wooing her. Her friends say that he is either “playing me, really messed up from his bad relationship, or just a drunk. I would love your take on a) his inconsistent behavior and b) whether I should try to have a calm conversation with him about our friendship, or just go with the flow.”

Disappearing Drummer Disorder: An FWB Goes AWOL

“I was in a FWB situation for almost 8 months with this guy. We never went on real dates and mostly met at his drum studio or apartment, talked, and had sex. For me anyway, it was a rare intellectual connection combined with great chemistry. Sex was great, conversations were great, and time passed so quickly with hi. He was not OK with the polyamorous thing and didn’t want to get emotionally involved but was OK with having sex since it was out in the open. I was OK with simply enjoying the times we had together. So, that was working well until one day he just dropped out in the middle of rescheduling one of our meetups because the schedule that day didn’t work out. Like all of a sudden, gone. To this day I’m just still extremely puzzled by this. I’ve moved on and I’m not mad or anything, but just deeply curious. Like, what the hell happened?”

Hunting Unicorns: How to Find a Woman to Join your Threesome

“Maybe you can give me some tips on how to find a girl to join my boyfriend and me.” So says a Brooklyn woman in a three-and-a-half year relationship that she describes as open. Maybe we know voodoo and spells too. That’s not sarcastic; we just might. Regardless, the hunt for the elusive unicorn is on. In case you don’t know, the unicorn is that rare, magical bisexual woman who will jump into bed with with a couple and help them fulfill their fantasies.