Most of my sexual experiences have been fairly vanilla. Of my two main long term partners, one would not consider any kink, and the other made me feel strange if I wanted to try anything different and didn’t let me know what she wanted to experience either. Now I kind of have a hang up regarding sex, in that I don’t feel comfortable pushing forward with something non-vanilla, even if it excites me. Also, I am completely uncomfortable if I am not the aggressor. How can I get over both these things?